Finding Friends

My dad wasn’t military, but we moved a lot when I was growing up. More than anyone else I knew who wasn’t military. It was always hard moving away from my friends, but finding new friends in our new neighborhood or school or state was never that hard.

As an adult? Finding friends is hard.

I’ve lived in Indiana for almost ten years but only have a handful of friends here. Really only one good friend. I had others while I was in grad school, but jobs took them out of state once they graduated. I had other friends when I was working, but only the one friendship has lasted once I started staying home with the boy.

Church is such a usual source of friends, but I don’t have a church home. Volunteering? I used to before kids, but now I can’t afford to pay for a sitter for a volunteer gig. And my last volunteer spot? I was the only one under retirement age.

I had never realized how much harder it can be once you have kids too. If I want to get together with someone during the day, our kids need to be compatible. Or at least compatible-enough.

Sometimes I wish I could wear a button that said something like “seeking friends,” so that others (I know they’re out there) would know that I’m open to new friendships. It often seems that everyone here in Indiana has lived here their whole lives and has friendhips spanning decades, and no open friend slots.

I don’t think I’m too demanding of friendship; I don’t expect any one person to fulfill my every social need. I’d just like someone to email or text, or meet for lunch.

I know I’m not the only one thinking about friendship as an adult. Hayley just wrote about it. Kat wrote about it.

As I try to find more friends here, I’m making more of an effort to go to things; blogger meetups, bookclubs, things like that. Every time I go I have to psych myself up that yes I should go and yes it will be good. I’m always glad I go, but will I ever not have to talk myself into it?

Do you have all the friends you want? How do you go about meeting new friends?

Linking up to Write It, Girl.