So. Last week was so empowering, writing a post where I was afraid to hit “publish,” I thought I’d try it again.
I’m Christian. I believe in God and Jesus and the Bible.
I don’t go to church, and I haven’t for years. And yes, I feel guilty about it, especially now that I have children.
It’s just hard. I grew up in a church that taught that they were IT. The ONE-AND-ONLY-TRUE-CHURCH. Everyone else in the world? Doing it wrong and not really Christian. We were the only ones to know the TRUTH. Yes, TRUTH was pretty much always capitalized.
I left that Church soon after graduating from College, and I’ve never really found a church home again. I didn’t even miss it for years, because I was skittish at the thought of anything like that, but lately I long to find a church to belong to.
The other big problem? I’m an introvert. Not just an introvert, I am an INTROVERT. As in, any quiz or test I’ve ever taken to evaluate where I am on the extrovert/introvert scale comes out at 100% of my answers say: introvert.
Churches around here all seem like they’re designed by and for extroverts. Let’s have a greeting time in the middle of the service! Hug your neighbors! Don’t forget to sign up for your small group / Wednesday night classes / Sunday school group / service group. I feel like I have to run a gauntlet to get to a seat and back to my car. To you they might seem like friendly greeters wanting to make sure I feel welcome, but to me they are overwhelming.
I’d love to make authentic friends in church, yes, but I don’t want to try and meet everyone in the building the first time I visit, and that’s how it feels. Just because I don’t want to shout my praises during the sermon doesn’t mean I don’t love God.
Isn’t there a space for quieter Christians?
I’ve started reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and want to read Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. Maybe it will give me some ideas on how I can find a church home where our family will be comfortable. Because my husband? He’s an introvert too.
Linking up to Write It, Girl.